More Thinking

I wonder why there are times when it seems like your entire life gets plowed up all at once? You all know what I’m talking about. Your rolling along, just minding your own business and all of a sudden something big changes. Followed by something else. And something else. And something else. Then you think that everything that’s changed that could possible change and then there’s still something else.

I was taking Chloe to school this morning and she started talking about the earth. She said that the “earth was just dust that collected together and started spinning and then it started spinning faster and faster”. And I said “that’s not what the Bible says” and she said “well, does your Bible have science in it”? She spat the words at me. Cue my head exploding. Of course it started the “you will not talk to me like that” lecture. She said “well, that’s what my teacher said”. And that’s an issue that I’ve faced for her whole school career. Anytime I tell her something contrary to what one of her teacher says, she argues with me because she believes whatever they tell her. It’s hard to witness the making of a little humanist, especially when it’s my sweet girl.

I haven’t yet had the “infallibility of scripture” talk with her. Mostly because infallibility is a big word- and a big concept. She goes to church and we have had family Bible time although it isn’t consistent (that plus Christian school was enough for Amanda and we’ll get to that in a minute). I’m concerned though that her teachers have more credibility with her because of their position. T0 her, teachers know everything. That’s why they’re teachers.

I grew up in Christian school. It had it’s flaws and high school was a joke (anybody else do PACEs?). But in all grades, especially elementary, Bible was a subject. I learned catechism. I learned the ABC’s with Bible verses attached. I learned Science in relation to creationism. It reinforced what I was learning at church and at home. I have to say that having a Bible curriculum in the hours that I get Chloe at home would be difficult. And there’s still the issue of what she’s learning in school conflicting with home. They get her for 35 hours a week and that’s a really long time.

Amanda grew up in Christian school until 7th grade. She learned the same things I did and by the time she went to public school she was knew her stuff. She stood up for her beliefs and was able to process things in light of the truth. She didn’t just believe what they taught her. Actually, she really surprised me at how outspoken she was. But she had a solid foundation. The only difference in the way Amanda was raised (you know, besides the whole single-mom thing) versus Chloe is public school.

Is public school the whole issue? No, of course not. Every kid is different and I think that I’ve run into some issues that I hadn’t anticipated because I’m basically raising Chloe the same way I raised Amanda (I’m saying I but the “we” of Travis and Amy is implied). But she’s a completely different kid in the way she thinks and her temperament.

I had tea with a friend a couple of days ago. She home schools her kids and it’s a big challenge. And I said to her “I’m not disciplined enough to home school”. Well, I guess that’s pretty selfish of me. I’m not saying that I’m homeschooling. I will say though, that I’m willing to do whatever it takes to raise Chloe and Halle to be women of God. If that means that I have to change and be more disciplined then I’ll change. I should be working towards that anyway. If it means that we make sacrifices to put them in Christian school and never buy a nicer house, then that’s what we do. I don’t think that Chloe intended to sound so anti-Bible. It’s not in her. But I think that I got a glimpse of the future and what could be if we don’t intervene now. In all honesty, I’m angry. I’m angry that they teach that stuff as fact to kids who are at school to learn. I ask her to believe it when her teacher says that 1+1=2, so how is she supposed to discern what she’s supposed to believe and what she’s not? I don’t think she can unless she has the proper foundation. I’m just not sure where to start. It’s almost like learning to parent all over again.


9 thoughts on “More Thinking

  1. Amy I’m very proud of you. You make a lot of sense in what you said. Lee and Rachel are having trouble with Felicity at her christian school. I think you should be a writer. You know how to let people know what you mean, and you put the words so it is easy to understand what you are seying and what you mean .
    Keep up the good work and may God bless you and your family.
    Love you all
    Aunt Doris

  2. Thank you Aunt Doris. It means a lot for you to say that. I enjoy writing but I may be too busy in the not too distant future 🙂

  3. I have felt the same way. That my lack of discipline is simply a nice way of saying “I’m too lazy and selfish to change for my kid’s sake.” I am much more inclined toward homeschooling than I have ever been in the past and I hadn’t even thought about the conflict you described with teaching Chloe what to believe and what not to believe.

    I went to public school and I loved it, I had warnings from my mom that my teachers would try to tell me certain things and I should take those things with a grain of salt, but I don’t believe it was pushed then, as it is now. I don’t think it’s impossible to raise kids well in public school but they sure don’t make it easy for parents do they?

  4. No they really don’t. And it’s stressful for Chloe to have to try and figure out what’s true. As she said this afternoon “I’m there to learn”. In that regard it’s simple. They teach her and she learns it. It’s not necessarily a matter of belief to her- at least she doesn’t realize it. It’s genius really. Feed them full of humanism as a child and when they’re old “they won’t depart from it”.

  5. Yes, I know what it is to have your whole life plowed up all at once….I am…there…and I feel like I am in quicksand…

    I remember when the boys were in school and they would come home and question things they were told…I sat down with them and told them that even though they had to respect the position that their teachers held, that unfortunately, teachers don’t know all the “truth”…Of course, I let them know it wasn’t their job to enlighten their teachers…but that they could come home and we would discuss what the teacher was saying versus God’s truth…

    Of course, each child is different. Even though you try to raise them all the same, what works with one or two doesn’t necessarily work with another…They have choices to make and they start making them early…

  6. Uh, yeah. I went to a school that did PACEs too once. Ugh. Unfortunately, people pay a lot of money for Christian “education,” and they’re really only paying for the Christian part of it.
    I have had the same struggle about school with my kids. We, actually, my whole family – parents included- have struggled so much to keep the kids in the right learning environment for them. It’s important to pay attention to each child as they go through their school experience – just like what you’re already doing.
    I say, you’re on the right path. You noticed something was up and you are seeking out what changes may need to happen. Each child *is* different and the solutions for them will be different too. Go with your heart. You have what it takes. This much I know.

  7. Thanks for your support everybody. Obviously we haven’t made any decisions and probably won’t for a while. I do think that this was something serious that was revealed. I’m just glad that I was paying attention. Changing schools is traumatic for a kid so it’s something that we’re taking seriously but it won’t stop us from doing what we feel is right for our kids. Affording changes is something else. But I know if it’s time for change then God will provide that too.

  8. I do think that this one of the conversations that God helped you be really alert for. Whether it means that you homeschool, start saving for private school, or keep a more watchful eye on public school and seize every opportunity to talk openly with the girls… that will be determined. And, I think you’ll know. The important part is to make decisions now that will afford you the opportunity to follow God’s lead. And, I think you’re working towards that. By “plowing up”, you will have land that bears strong healthy plants in the proper season.

  9. Tisra, you’re so right. Travis and I have both had small conversations with Chloe about some things that you learn at school just isn’t right and she can’t grasp it. She quickly gets overwhelmed and puts her head in her hands. I knew it was significant but I didn’t even realize how much it was. And I don’t think that God would make us aware if He didn’t have a plan to help us fix it.

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