Kind of Overwhelmed but You Know, Not Really

That’s my way of saying it comes in waves. There’s just too, too much going on right now. Ok, swallow your coffee first. Are you done? I don’t want you to spit. But I was seeing a counselor. Twice. I saw a counselor twice. And this last time she told me I was dealing with too much to go through counseling right now. Funny, no? It made me laugh. And I felt much less stressed to know that I could take that off my plate.

God is being really good. I have a deep peace and sometimes I feel totally relaxed. Then other times I let go of the peace and get back to being overwhelmed. I feel though, that I’m knocking on the door of breakthrough. Like it could happen any second so being patient and waiting for it is tough.

We have decided what to do with the girls for school. It’s what I’ve wanted all along and that’s for them to be in the Academy at church. It’s an academy for home schoolers where they attend school two days a week and the other three days are at home. I would be responsible for math and language arts. I don’t look at this as Utopia, but for us I think it’s the best choice. I still want them in a classroom environment, to have friends and teachers but I want it done more efficiently. I don’t see any reason why my girls can’t learn everything they need to learn in fewer hours per week. I’ll know exactly what they’re learning and if there’s something they don’t understand we can tackle it instead of finding out they don’t understand because they come home with a poor grade on a test. I don’t want them locked in a classroom all day long and for our entire life to be scheduled around a school schedule. Yes, I know they’ll still be in school but I’m much more in control. It’s going to be a challenge to be sure and a different kind of stress but we know that this is the direction our family is heading.

It makes me wonder, “why now”?But we’re in a season of testing. Pastor Dale said this past Sunday “testing isn’t supposed to be easy, it’s supposed to be effective”. I suppose I should know that. I just feel like I’ve been hit by a train. But I had another thought “what if this is the final exam”? Not that testing is over forever but for this season, for this last 10 years…what if this is the final exam? I have to tell you that I’m very excited at that prospect. I pray that it is. And I really want to pass the test.

So for now the thought of simplicity is so appealing to me. To live simply and not worry about impressing people with success or, well, anything that you might impress someone with. I think I’ve been past the point of impressing people for quite some time. My thought for simplicity for today is to get the laundry put away, sit in my ugly-comfy chair, put my feet up and read one of the magazines I get but haven’t read because I can’t work out. And relax. I am feeling relaxed, in waves. I wish I could get to the point of staying there but unfortunately, I have to work at it.

Now along those lines, I’m going to pass on a little tip that one of my Facebook friends passed along. The Simple Mom is a website filled with all sorts of goodies for living simply and thrifty with lots of different topics that would appeal to most of you. The article on how to clean your face naturally was really interesting to me. I tried just olive oil last night because I don’t have any castor oil to work with. I have to say though that it was really nice. Except that I got some oil in my eye…that wasn’t as nice.

Now I’m off to finish the things I haven’t finished. I don’t think my ugly-comfy chair reading time will be tonight but it will be soon…

*disclaimer- I haven’t exactly scoured The Simple Mom site but I like what I’ve read so far…so, you know, it’s not a ringing endorsement. Iย  like the thought of saving $$$ on face cleanser ๐Ÿ™‚


6 thoughts on “Kind of Overwhelmed but You Know, Not Really

  1. I know this isn’t real profound but I’m tired so forgive me…I don’t think the tests ever stop until we get to heaven…I hope you don’t get mad at me for saying that… ๐Ÿ™‚ I am learning about the heart of Father-God…and He loves me…and you…and He really IS good…and this life sucks sometimes but that’s the way it is…It’s our RESPONSE to what happens that develops our character…and God is in the character-building business…just like a good (only He is great) father would be…He doesn’t make bad things happen to us to “teach” us lessons…they just…happen….It has taken me a long, long, long time to get that….and I am still learning….

    P.S. Loved your blog and love you!

    • “Not that testing is over forever but for this season, for this last 10 yearsโ€ฆwhat if this is the final exam?”

      There are seasons in everybody’s life. Some seasons last for a short while and some last for a very long time but they all end at some point. I’m talking specifically about this season.

  2. I’m so excited that you’ve come to a decision about school that gives you peace. That has been such a tough area for us as well – I understand what goes into a decision like that.
    I think it’s hilarious that your counselor said you have too much to deal with to be in counseling ๐Ÿ™‚ That ought to take any worry out of your decision to put it down for now!
    I love the idea of living simply. Somehow, though, my ideas about what simplicity means usually end up being more work for me…I’m looking forward to checking out that site, though ๐Ÿ™‚

    • I know just what you mean. I try to grow my own food, sew my own clothes, knit…etc. And it ends up being way more stress than I bargained for. I want to go with berry bushes and tomatoes this year and that’s it…well, maybe fruit trees if Travis doesn’t mind digging the holes ๐Ÿ˜‰

  3. Amy, your posts are bouncy lately. Like you’re dancing while you write them. I just think you sound happy.

    I think you are right about the final exam thing. I feel like I’m sort of there too, but my test has only been six months (and part of that I didn’t really know I was being tested), not 10 years, so I don’t intend to sound like I’m right there with you or anything. I just sort of have the same anticipation.

    I have felt so confirmed lately in what I say “no” to. From friends to strangers, I’ve received several comments about how wise it is to stay focused on the main things (family in this case) and not let these years get away from us. We are going to be happy old women some day aren’t we?

    • Thanks, Mary. I’m glad it shows because I sort of feel like I’m dancing.

      Has it only been 6 months for you guys? It seems like so much longer than that. And it’s not like you guys have never been through seasons like this before and I would never minimize what you’re going through- it doesn’t matter how long it is, testing is tough. I’m happy that you’re anticipating and I’m anticipating right there along with you. I can hardly wait for your deliverance…we’ll do a happy dance together. Or, you know, get lunch or something ๐Ÿ˜€

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