Making Mistakes and Moving On

I’ve posted a good bit on what we’re doing and fun things about homeschool but I’m going to write today about an area in which I feel that I’ve failed miserably. The term “failed miserably” is relative here. It’s my dramatic way of saying, “Oh no! I’ve made a mistake and I must fix it now!” I don’t like making mistakes. Actually, I loathe making mistakes. I’m not sure why. I suppose I could say I’m a perfectionist but I’m only a perfectionist in certain areas. In other areas I’m laid-back; maybe too laid-back.

I guess I should start by saying that I am some weird combination of type A personality meets go-with-the-flow. Unfortunately, my family can’t really tell where go-with-the-flow ends until I’m upset about something. Believe me, I wish I could figure me out and make a handy instruction manual for Travis and the kids but I’m often surprised about it all myself.

Homeschool is great. I love that my kids aren’t stuck in a classroom 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, forced to sit still and be quiet with a 20 minute break a day for fresh air. I love that I’m able to hug them and talk to them and that we can share while we’re in school. I really don’t love being interrupted continually. Travis can testify to that. As of now, I haven’t instituted any rules about when the girls could talk or about staying seated, this is homeschool after all. But I’ve found recently that the girls won’t stop talking while I’m instructing. Halle and Daisy are probably the biggest distractions. It’s easy enough to crate Daisy while we’re learning but Halle talks and cracks jokes constantly. She’s the youngest and is always trying to make us laugh so there are times I can barely get through a sentence without being interrupted. Then it’s very likely that I’ll erupt. Not good.

So today I decided to fix it all and belted out machine gun type orders that brought Chloe to tears and had Halle running around like a little puppy dog trying to make things better. Did I mention that I hate it when I make mistakes? Especially when it makes my kid(s) cry. Bleh.

I don’t deny that some rules are going to have to be put in place. Did I also mention that I’m not a big fan of rules? I mean, I’m okay with not killing or stealing or any of the other 10 commandments. It’s other rules like English, for instance. There are so.many.rules. And I just broke a bunch 🙂 It’s amazing how happy that makes me. See? I’m incorrigible. I much prefer to write the way I talk and add commas wherever I *feel* like putting commas. I had the same trouble in college. I was very upset when I found out I was going to have to count an intro before I started singing. I would much rather just *feel* where I was supposed to start. So, yeah, I had to learn to count. Bleh. Anyway, I like a free-flowing, freedom to discuss things homeschool. But I get crazy when I can’t reach my goal of doing school while I’m being interrupted. So I have to change. And I’m a little nervous about that.

I also have to realize that it’s going to take a little getting used to. And that I’m going to have to write the rules so they can see them. I have to teach them to follow directions completely. And I have to teach them English. Rules and all. I’m thinking that homeschool is as much for me as it is for them.


8 thoughts on “Making Mistakes and Moving On

  1. I love you Amy! I know you probably hate it when I say we are a lot alike but I see so much of me (not always, not exactly but a lot!) in you…

    I am a pretty decent speller but I too, love to write “freestyle”… kinda like freestyle poetry…I love my dots and I don’t pay too much attention to paragraphs or commas…I just use what feels right to me…If I try to be too restrictive or perfect, then I don’t want to write…

    As far as the home school thing, you are such a great mom…Most of us have what I call meltdowns…just most people don’t admit it…Most people don’t admit any type of “failure” because it might make them look bad…I’ve decided I don’t care any more (well, mostly anyway) what people think, I am who I am…God is still working on me… 🙂

    • I don’t hate it at all actually 🙂

      You know, some of this was hard to admit but I think that I’m not really being true to anyone if I only write about things that are rosy and perfect. I used to do that but I want to be as honest as I can be about my experiences. I don’t write everything that I’m thinking but that’s for the benefit of my readers, lol. Nobody wants to know *everything* about me 😀

  2. I know all too well what you mean. I don’t like it when parenting (or anything else for that matter) requires me to change something I’ve learned to accept about myself. It’s one of those things that I don’t have to change as long as I can avoid, or excuse myself from, situations that require it of me.

    Then along came kids. The great character builders of our lives. On to some of the perfecting God seems to want in us. 🙂

  3. Just God…He knows everything…The other day I was reading in my devotional “Jesus Calling” that God takes pleasure in our day to day activities…never thought of it like that…That means if we’re laughing with our kids, baking cookies, washing dishes, gardening, well, you get the picture…It brings Him joy…We tend to think it’s only if we’re witnessing to the homeless guy (and we’d better be feeding him :)…or putting in a big offering at church (I wish!)…that we please Him…But He’s actually happy when we’re going about our everyday life…I like to think…when we’re doing something nice…He’s happiest 🙂

    P.S. Even though I kinda “let it all hang out” in my blog…I do keep a few choice thoughts to myself…ha, ha, ha…

  4. Bleah. I made a mistake this weekend that I’m having trouble living with, so…I know just what you mean. Also, the whole Type-A-meets-go-with-the-flow? Yeah. I get that.

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