I’ve posted a good bit on what we’re doing and fun things about homeschool but I’m going to write today about an area in which I feel that I’ve failed miserably. The term “failed miserably” is relative here. It’s my dramatic way of saying, “Oh no! I’ve made a mistake and I must fix it now!” I don’t like making mistakes. Actually, I loathe making mistakes. I’m not sure why. I suppose I could say I’m a perfectionist but I’m only a perfectionist in certain areas. In other areas I’m laid-back; maybe too laid-back.
I guess I should start by saying that I am some weird combination of type A personality meets go-with-the-flow. Unfortunately, my family can’t really tell where go-with-the-flow ends until I’m upset about something. Believe me, I wish I could figure me out and make a handy instruction manual for Travis and the kids but I’m often surprised about it all myself.
Homeschool is great. I love that my kids aren’t stuck in a classroom 7 hours a day, 5 days a week, forced to sit still and be quiet with a 20 minute break a day for fresh air. I love that I’m able to hug them and talk to them and that we can share while we’re in school. I really don’t love being interrupted continually. Travis can testify to that. As of now, I haven’t instituted any rules about when the girls could talk or about staying seated, this is homeschool after all. But I’ve found recently that the girls won’t stop talking while I’m instructing. Halle and Daisy are probably the biggest distractions. It’s easy enough to crate Daisy while we’re learning but Halle talks and cracks jokes constantly. She’s the youngest and is always trying to make us laugh so there are times I can barely get through a sentence without being interrupted. Then it’s very likely that I’ll erupt. Not good.
So today I decided to fix it all and belted out machine gun type orders that brought Chloe to tears and had Halle running around like a little puppy dog trying to make things better. Did I mention that I hate it when I make mistakes? Especially when it makes my kid(s) cry. Bleh.
I don’t deny that some rules are going to have to be put in place. Did I also mention that I’m not a big fan of rules? I mean, I’m okay with not killing or stealing or any of the other 10 commandments. It’s other rules like English, for instance. There are so.many.rules. And I just broke a bunch 🙂 It’s amazing how happy that makes me. See? I’m incorrigible. I much prefer to write the way I talk and add commas wherever I *feel* like putting commas. I had the same trouble in college. I was very upset when I found out I was going to have to count an intro before I started singing. I would much rather just *feel* where I was supposed to start. So, yeah, I had to learn to count. Bleh. Anyway, I like a free-flowing, freedom to discuss things homeschool. But I get crazy when I can’t reach my goal of doing school while I’m being interrupted. So I have to change. And I’m a little nervous about that.
I also have to realize that it’s going to take a little getting used to. And that I’m going to have to write the rules so they can see them. I have to teach them to follow directions completely. And I have to teach them English. Rules and all. I’m thinking that homeschool is as much for me as it is for them.