I was going to do a picture through the years sort of thing for Amanda today but it would require too much time to scan the pictures in and it’s something that I might not recover from emotionally anyway. This is a lot harder than I thought it would be and I’m really dreading this trip. I’m happy that we get to see family and friends and we have to be there for Amanda but part of me wishes that I didn’t have to walk through this.
Parenting is hard.
Letting go is harder.
But letting go is what we’re working toward from the day they’re born. It’s the only way to parent them well.
I could say, “I’m too young for this” or even, “I’m too old for this”, although neither is true. It has nothing to do with my age and has everything to do with my heart being broken. But because I love Amanda so much I will walk through this knowing that I will cry a lot and I will miss her so much but I’m not alone.
God is with me.
God is with us.
Amanda has been through so much to get her to this point. You may not know this but going to college is a point of surrender for her. And I know He is with her.
I thought this morning, “I love her so much” and I heard the Holy Spirit whisper, “I love her too”. I know He does and it’s my comfort. And I trust Him with her. I’ve said that we’re leaving Amanda in the care of SEU but it isn’t true. We’re leaving her in the care of my Father and I trust him to take care of her.