Yes, it’s been a while. It isn’t that I haven’t had time to write, it’s that I don’t need the distraction that comes with blogging. Every blogger *loves* comments. Whether one loves attention or not. Whether one is self confident or not. Everyone wants to know that someone is reading and likes what you wrote. I tend to get distracted by that. And I’ve needed to focus. To really focus on what my family needs rather than my own hobby (or hobbies), to give Chloe what she needs in this new, demanding school year, to focus on Halle, on my husband and our marriage.
See, the thing is, good kids don’t happen by accident. Marriages, friendships, school years, family relationships, etc. aren’t successful by accident. It takes focus.
And I’m a dreamer.
Focus doesn’t come easily to dreamers.
But I’m not content to just say, “That’s the way I am”. And leave it at that. I don’t think that my personal needs are the trump card in life. Yes, what I need is important (lest you think I’m a martyr, believe me, I am not) but the list of things I really, actually need is very small.
And what Chloe needs is for me to walk through 5th grade with her. I may not be her full-time teacher but it’s my job to set her up for success rather than failure (more on that later). Halle needs me to be fully present when we’re going through her lessons. Travis needs me to be his biggest supporter. And what do I get in return?
I get a husband and kids that adore me. They think I’m the best ever…even when I don’t think I’m the best ever.
And that is why I need to focus. It doesn’t mean I won’t write, I will. Maybe I always will. I can’t really seem to stop writing forever. I guess I can say that I’m a work in progress. I’ve seen homeschool moms that do outings and blog and own a business and all manner of craziness. I can’t imagine that’s the way it will be with me. But if I can do school and clean and cook and write and be very present in the lives of my family without being distracted…then I suppose I’m doing my job well.