Resurfacing

Yes, it’s been a while. It isn’t that I haven’t had time to write, it’s that I don’t need the distraction that comes with blogging. Every blogger *loves* comments. Whether one loves attention or not. Whether one is self confident or not. Everyone wants to know that someone is reading and likes what you wrote. I tend to get distracted by that. And I’ve needed to focus. To really focus on what my family needs rather than my own hobby (or hobbies), to give Chloe what she needs in this new, demanding school year, to focus on Halle, on my husband and our marriage.

See, the thing is, good kids don’t happen by accident. Marriages, friendships, school years, family relationships, etc. aren’t successful by accident. It takes focus.

And I’m a dreamer.

Focus doesn’t come easily to dreamers.

But I’m not content to just say, “That’s the way I am”. And leave it at that. I don’t think that my personal needs are the trump card in life. Yes, what I need is important (lest you think I’m a martyr, believe me, I am not) but the list of things I really, actually need is very small.

And what Chloe needs is for me to walk through 5th grade with her. I may not be her full-time teacher but it’s my job to set her up for success rather than failure (more on that later). Halle needs me to be fully present when we’re going through her lessons. Travis needs me to be his biggest supporter. And what do I get in return?

I get a husband and kids that adore me. They think I’m the best ever…even when I don’t think I’m the best ever.

And that is why I need to focus. It doesn’t mean I won’t write, I will. Maybe I always will. I can’t really seem to stop writing forever. I guess I can say that I’m a work in progress. I’ve seen homeschool moms that do outings and blog and own a business and all manner of craziness. I can’t imagine that’s the way it will be with me. But if I can do school and clean and cook and write and be very present in the lives of my family without being distracted…then I suppose I’m doing my job well.

Hugs, Amy

Advertisements

5 thoughts on “Resurfacing

  1. I think, sweetie, that the thing I’m most thankful for about you is that you’ve elected to obey the Lord rather than allowing what others think you should do to influence the course you’re taking. Your obedience will have eternal consequences, not only for you and your children, but also for many who will be influenced by you, Travis, and all your children. Keep writing, I love it.

  2. Well said and certainly I can relate. I often choose writing over things I should be doing and I probably need to take a step back more often. I agree with your dad, obeying the Lord is admirable of you and one of the hard parts about that is how different that looks for everyone around us. For some…writing, running a business, taking outings of all kinds and homeschooling is exactly what they’re called to do (do they have an assistant?), for the rest of us, focus is paramount. No matter what I try, I always come back to the fact that satisfaction comes with obedience, no matter what it looks like for each of us. Was this long enough? Cause I could write more.

  3. I feel ya, girl. I hate that I haven’t written much at all this semester, but I just have to focus elsewhere. And I respect those kinds of choices in my friends so very much.

  4. I’m reading, Amy…and you are a terrific wife, mother, teacher, friend and daughter-in-law! I like that you find time in your busy schedule to listen to me and to always pray for me…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s